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Day 29 – Done Day! Minus 1.  Holy shit!  One more day!  All I could think about in last night’s class was how I might miss this a little.  I know.  I know.  I’ve been complaining about how I miss my time and whining about my freedom to do what I wanted to do, but really, this has become my time.  It was a good thing I was doing for myself, and the thought that I was actively enriching my life (and by extension, those around me) through a daily practice of yoga was very gratifying and self-serving.  My question is:  If I can push myself to complete this challenge (with just a minor amount of bitching), why can’t I commit to going three days a week when there is no challenge?  I’m definitely not doing it for any of the material rewards from the studio.  Hell, I don’t even know what, if any, they are, although a healthy percentage off a pair of Lululemon pants I’ve been eyeing, that I normally couldn’t afford, would be nice.  There were times I dragged myself to class; there were times I looked forward to going.  The difference is that I had already made up my mind to make this a daily commitment and see it through to completion.  It should be easy to transcend that effort into life outside of the past 30 days; right?  Not so much.  I recognize that with that last statement, I’m already condemning myself to fail.

So what do I do?  All of my therapy, the endless articles I read about life lessons and commitment strategies, and just plain common sense tell me that I should set that goal and make a promise that I will not disappoint myself.  It’s just that simple.  But I will let myself down sooner than I would someone else.  I know me.  This is where it ties into those flimsy excuses I convince myself are valid.  My Love will try to keep me on track and I will not want to disappoint him, but don’t think it beneath me to try to convince him that I can’t go to class because I have no clean yoga pants.  Yesterday, because I knew I couldn’t use it as a “valid” excuse, I had to dig a pair out of my dirty clothes hamper.  Sorry if this is TMI for some of you, but we’ve all done it, so don’t act so shocked.  This is another reason I need that pair of Lululemon pants — increasing the pants rotation.  My hope is that now that I’ve put this out there for you all to read, as well as My Love, I will be held accountable by everyone in the whole wide world (or more likely just the five of you who read these posts) to keep my promise to myself.  Knowing that there are other people that will call bullshit on my excuses is a good motivational feeling.  So if someone asks me why I am not planning on attending class and I tell them it’s because I got a paper cut the day before yesterday, I expect someone to electronically kick me in the ass with a stern email or comment telling me that that excuse doesn’t hold water and to get my ass to a class because I’ll feel so much better immediately after and overall as well.  29 down, 1 to go.

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