Day 17 – Halfway There Day Plus 2. This daily chronicle is intended to carry you all along with me while I plod through this challenge, sharing my frustrations and triumphs in an effort to encourage, educate, and entertain. I vowed to be honest and not embellish or moderate my thoughts thereby candidly conveying to you my feelings, both mentally and physically. So when I say in my most plaintive, pitiful voice that I don’t want to go to yoga tonight, I am fulfilling my vow to keep you, the reader, genuinely informed on my daily status. I want to leave work and do things I want to do, like … well, nothing … for a while at least. I know there are only 13 days remaining — not even two weeks — and that I’ve successfully done this once before. However, I really would like to be able to plop my little baby caveman feet on the coffee table, snuggle with all my loves (both human and feline) and watch the brand new episode of “Justified” to see if it is possible that Timothy Olyphant can get any hotter, not worrying about where my hips are facing, if I’m breathing (well, maybe I might be concerned about this one), or if my tailbone is tucked while standing on my forearms. Thinking back, I was beginning to whine about this on Day 15.
This is how I am feeling today.
This is not what I will do today.
Fear not peeps, I will be attending tonight’s class and not disappointing myself and anyone else who cares if I complete this challenge, including My Love, my best champion ever. I will finish this challenge barring any unforeseen debilitating illness, loss of limb or natural disaster. I am just venting. It has come to this point not because I have pushed my physical body beyond its limits, am weary of the practice itself, or not seeing the results of my efforts. I recognize and have tremendous gratitude that I am benefiting enormously physically and mentally. Rather, I am missing the normalcy of the everyday and that hallowed post-work time when I fall into my life where I am the CEO and I am where the buck stops. Being a routine-oriented being, I am missing that slow pace of the week nights where I didn’t feel rushed to have dinner, just getting to hit the highlights of the day with My Love, and then to bed early to be up early. This all sounds so trivial to me as I type it. But maybe I was taking it all for granted and this challenge has made me realize how much I value my own personal time and the way in which I spend it. Maybe this is my reminder to really appreciate every moment as it is happening and not when it’s just a faint memory. Last year, I didn’t get this feeling until maybe Day 23. I wondered why the (almost) week difference. I thought. Then, a revelatory moment! It is because this year, as opposed to last year, my life is unbelievably more plentiful — full of reciprocal love, warming bliss, and sated dreams. The left turn I took on my Paige Path has brought me to this wonderful place where I feel I am moving forward toward a hopeful future in all aspects of my life. I guess my lesson learned here is that I should not take the little things I consider trivial, like evenings at home, for granted.
Last night’s class was great as usual. I really enjoy the classes with this particular teacher. I have noticed that my practice is becoming a little more fluid and flows with a steadier rhythm now … until I almost fall on my face while in crow (or rather, not in crow). 17 down, 13 to go.